When we first introduced the 10 areas of the wheel of life, you may have wondered why intimate relationships and family occupy separate sections.
Those who are married tend to make the mistake of thinking about their spouse in terms of family, rather than intimacy. The key to fulfillment in long-term relationships is to first be fulfilled in other areas on your wheel.
Day three of the Titanium Challenge has actionable advice for those who are:
- Unsure if they are in the right relationship
- Know they’re in the wrong relationship
How to Find an Intimate Relationship
How many times have you heard someone in an intimate relationship say “ I found my partner when I wasn’t even looking?”
The reason this happens so often is those who consciously seek an intimate relationship are often dissatisfied with some other area on their Wheel of Life. Looking for fulfillment from another person is a recipe for disaster. It breeds an insecure, fragile relationship.
Instead, you need to first work on being the best version of yourself to attract a healthy relationship. It is why we talked about consistent growth before we talked about intimate relationships.
This inward focus is the secret behind how people find intimate relationships without looking. If you aren’t in a relationship, then I want you to get obsessed with yourself instead of finding a relationship.
Once you feel like you’re making progress towards your best you, you’ll start attracting healthy relationships as a byproduct.
Improving Intimate Relationships
Most relationship advice we receive isn’t very good. Why? Because we don’t typically ask for a resume dictating the person’s relationship success.
I have an amazing relationship with my wife, but getting to this amazing relationship came from 15 years of figuring out what didn’t work. So what is the secret to my amazing intimate relationship? We stress quality, not quantity.
I run six businesses. I don’t have a lot of time with my wife, but the time I do have with her is high quality. My attention is completely dedicated to her.
One trick I use is the cell phone trick. Whenever I’m spending time with my wife, I let her watch me turn off my phone and put it away. Try this trick next time you’re with your significant other.
You’ll be amazed at how much time you spend buried in your phone when with others. I recently was at dinner with my wife and pulled out my phone six times, and I knew it was off.
Checking our phone tells our significant other we aren’t fully engaged.
The phone trick falls under my philosophy of being completely focused on giving to a relationship. When both people are focused on giving to the relationship, then both people get fulfillment from the relationship.
You can’t think of intimate relationships as the means of fulfillment, but rather as a byproduct of being fulfilled in the other nine areas of the wheel of life.
The Intimate Relationship Challenge
For intimate relationships, you fall into one of four categories.
- Category 1 is made up of those who aren’t currently in a relationship. Your challenge is to make a list of all the things you can do for yourself to work towards becoming your best self over the next 14 days. Bringing your best self to the table is the precursor of any successful relationship.
- Category 2 is made up of those who are in a relationship but aren’t sure if it is the right relationship. I want you to commit to bringing your best self to the relationship for 30, 60, or 90 days. If it is not reciprocated by your partner during that time span, then you need to get out of this relationship.
- Category 3 is made up of those who know they are in the right relationship. Your challenge is to make a list of 14 things to do over the next 14 days that you know your partner will appreciate. This can be little things like starting their car on a cold morning or surprising them by cooking their favorite meal.
- Category 4 is made up of those who know they are in the wrong relationship. Your challenge is to create an exit strategy and get OUT of this unhealthy relationship.
That wraps up day 3 of the Titanium 16-day challenge. Day 4 is our first review day, where we’ll be checking your progress on the first three sets of daily challenges.
If you’re ready to elevate your intimate relationships while becoming the best version of you, then you’re ready to schedule a life coaching session with Arman today.