Do You Know How to Forgive and Forget?
Hey there everybody, I hope you’re having an incredibly beautiful day. Welcome to my podcast. Today I’ve got a really cool topic I want to talk to you about.
It’s the topic that I think has been one of my secrets to happiness in my life and it’s this concept we call forgiveness. See most of us as we’re going through life in business, in relationships, in whatever we do, there always going to be people in our lives and things that are going to seem unfair.
People who are going to try to take advantage of us, people who are going to take advantages of us, people who are going hurt us, people who are going to hurt the people we love.
How Do You React When Someone Hurts You?
The question though, is what would you do when you are in a situation where someone hurt you? How do you let that affect you and how that does that instance of someone hurting you affect you as you move forward? See most of us when someone hurts us we want to get even with them.
We want to go, and we want to get them back; we want to make sure that things are fair; we want to make sure that someone’s hurt us, so we’re going to hurt them right back. Someone has hurt us, and they’re going to pay for this. You know we have to make sure that they never do this to anyone again.
And that’s true, if someone hurts you, if someone does something to you that they could go out and do it to another human being, it’s critical to make sure that you do whatever it takes to make sure that you don’t allow them to do this to someone else.
In business, if there’s a company that takes advantage of your company and you feel like they’re doing this on a regular basis and they’re going to take advantage of another company, it’s your responsibility to make sure that act doesn’t happen.
But at the same time, I want to teach you about the concept of forgiveness. You see, in life we have to learn to forgive people because when you don’t forgive people, let me tell you what happens, inside of your body there’s a lot more going on than meets the eyes.
The Biology of Forgiveness
There are all these chemicals that your body is releasing, your brain is literally releasing all sorts of hormones and chemicals and things like that on a regular basis.
It’s scientifically proven that when you smile for example, your brain releases various chemicals and I’m not going to sit here and name you all this stuff like serotonin and this and that.
I don’t care about the details of it, what I want you to understand is that your brain releases chemicals that do a variety of things based on the feelings that you have or the physical things that you do on the outside of your body.
So I’m going to call them for simple terms, well call them happy stuff, sad stuff, poisonous stuff, that is usually the way I like to, the terms I like to use because they make things easier for me and I’m sure that make things easier for you to instead of naming all the fancy chemicals, but there are fancy names behind all of these chemicals.
And if you look at some of the blog articles and things like that I have on my website where I talk about these specifically, you’ll see some of those details there. For now, let’s just stick to the basics.
The Power of Smiling When it Comes to How to Forgive People
When it comes to how to forgive and forget, smiling is one of your most powerful tools. So when you look at what happens to your body for example when you smile, when you smile your body releases all kinds of positive chemicals, chemicals that get you to be stronger, chemicals that increase your body’s immune system, believe it or not. So your immune system becomes stronger the more you smile. Isn’t that interesting? That when you smile more, it means you’re happier, it means you’re in a better place.
Now when you’re sick do you smile a lot? No. Doesn’t it seem like backward, doesn’t it seem that maybe God got it all wrong and God made our bodies where when we smile, and we’re happy our immune system gets stronger? But in reality, when do you need a strong immune system?
You need a strong immune system when you’re unhappy, right? There are certain viruses, for example, the herpes virus, because people get cold sores a lot. If you look at the herpes virus, the herpes virus attacks then people get cold sores for a variety of reasons one of them could be sun burns and stuff like that.
But one of the main reasons is stress and unhappiness, so if you’re unhappy, the herpes virus understands that, and it will attack your body. And over 50% of the population of the world is infected with the version of the virus that gives those little sores on your lips. So most people have it, but most people don’t walk around with a cold sore, why? Well because your immune system is to be able to fight the virus but what happens when you’re unhappy, or you’re sad?
What happens when someone has hurt you, and you’re not willing to forgive them? Carrying around that sadness with you, carrying around that hurt in you, you have that feeling inside of you where you want to get back at somebody. See that is literally destroying your immune system, because it releases chemicals.
Those thoughts and those feelings release chemicals within your body that do just the opposite of the chemicals that are released by smiling. Now some of the people out there listening to this, are taking medication for example for antidepressants and things like that.
Well, I want you to understand your brain can make its own antidepressants. Did you know that when you exercise, did you know that when you smile, did you know that when you laugh, did you know when you do those things, your body actually releases the same exact chemicals that you were trying to create by taking medication?
I’m not telling you whether you should take your medication or not, that’s none of my business. You go to your doctor for that but what I want you to understand is you can get that stuff for free. You can get it for free without a prescription, without a doctor’s appointment, without putting a pill inside your body but just practicing things that make you happy.
Now I can’t imagine why someone would be out there taking say, antidepressant pills, yet when they have the choice of smiling, they don’t smile, when they have the choice of forgiving someone or holding a grudge they hold a grudge. Well did you know that if you’re taking an antidepressant and I’m not going to use real names and real numbers here. But let’s say you’re taking something and there’s a hundred mg. of that stuff that you’re taking everyday.
Why Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You?
Forgiving someone who has hurt you gives you your power back. Did you know that that thing that you have inside of you, the fact that you’re upset at your ex-boyfriend or your ex-girlfriend or your ex-husband or your ex-wife and you’re not willing to forgive them, do you know that if you were to just forgive them that’s probably the equivalent of about 15 to 20 mg. of that stuff that you’re taking. You can get that if you know how to forgive and forget
So of the hundred milligrams, you can get 15 to 20 of it but naturally just by forgiving someone. Or what if you just smiled, every morning will you smile for 2 minutes for no reason whatsoever and you made it a habit to smile 4 or 5 times a day, how would that affect things? Imagine that!
Imagine if you just smile, you get these chemicals release that you’re going out and you’re getting a hundred milligrams in a pill and now guess what you can get another 10 mg. of it just by smiling more often.
What if instead of holding this thing where you have inside of you, where you hold on to the pain that you have inside of you, you stay upset at yourself and you stay upset at other people, what if you stop doing that stuff, what if you forgave the people who’ve hurt you partially because why not forgive.
I mean in my world, I believe God is the only one who have the right to judge us so I’m going leave the judging up to God and I’m going to decide that in my life when people hurt me, I’m just going to move on.
How to Forgive and Forget Comes Down to Letting go of Judgement
I’m going to other things and I let God and the authorities and whoever else is in charge, I’ll let them do the judging because I wasn’t put on this earth to judge people. And I don’t want to judge people. So someone hurts me, I forgive them. Isn’t that the best way to be? Isn’t that an easier way to be?
Now if you’re a judge and that’s all you do every day as you judge things. Well hey, when you go to work you can judge all you want but when you leave work, what are you doing judging people? It’s not your damn business to be judging people, right? Leave the judging to judges, referees on the basketball court and to God.
Let’s let them be the one to judge people because, why do you want to take it on for yourself? When we have that animosity towards someone, when we hold that anger towards someone or when we are not willing to forgive someone because they did something to us, all that does is, it releases poisons inside of our body because just the opposite of those happy chemicals is true, right?
Literally, I want you to understand that when you are doing things that are holding something negative inside of you, your body literally releases chemicals that are designed to kill you. See this is what you have to understand.
My Thoughts on How to Forgive and Forget are From a Scientific Perspective
When I teach things, I teach things from a very scientific perspective. I like to make things simple to understand. I like to explain things in ways that everybody can understand and that’s what I’m doing here but please don’t make sure you don’t assume that this stuff is not science, it’s pure absolute 100% science that they’re teaching in the best universities in the world right now as we speak.
I want you to understand that your body is designed in such a way that when you are no longer a good part of society, you are genetically designed to kill yourself off. So basically human beings have a self destruct button.
Can you imagine that? Human beings literally have a self-destruct button, you know mission impossible. It says this message will self-destruct. Well guess what, you as a human being have a self-destruct button okay? Now what I’m going to explain to you is how that self-destruct button works and in the next episode, I’m going to talk to you guys purely about the self destruct button.
So don’t miss that next episode that comes out in just a couple of days from now. I’m not going to get in to self-destruct button now.
Again I’m teasing you guys just twice in a row, I’ve done this to you now. well I’m teasing you, I want you to come back and join me for that session where we’re going to talk about your self-destruct button and you’ll be amazed at the science that shows you how we literally have a self-destruct button within us.
Then that will be very eye opening for you and by the way not forgiving people is one of the many ways that you can trigger that self destruct button. And so many of us have triggered this thing or in the process of triggering this thing where we keep telling our bodies we’re no longer fit to be alive. So let’s break that habit, let’s break that pattern.
If there’s someone who’s hurt you, why do you want to let them continue to hurt you? Haven’t they already done enough damage to you? Whether it was emotional or physical, wouldn’t it be nice to let them go on and you don’t hold that grudge against them anymore?
Not because you want to be good to them but because of you, why would you allow them to continue to hurt you? As many of you know, I went through a very painful episode about 2 years ago that I’m still going through as we speak. As I’m sitting here and talking to you right now on this podcast, parts of my face hurt very much.
I get migraines on a regular basis, I have numbness all across my face and there’s all kinds of other things that are coming out of this thing but the thing is, if I just sit here and I hold anger towards the person who did this to me, how does that help me? How does that help me any?
Now there are other reasons I want to forgive people who hurt me but one of the most important one is, why would I let someone’s who’s already hurt me continue to hurt me? So if you’ve been hurt by someone, if you were hurt by a former spouse, if you were hurt by a friend, if you were hurt by someone, a colleague, anybody, why would you continue to let them hurt you? You deserve better that my friend. You deserve so much better than to let them continue to hurt you.
If they hurt you, if they robbed you, they stole from you, they stepped on you, they cheated on you, they did whatever to you, forgive them.
Not because of what it’s going to do for them but because of what it’s going to do for you. Now you could possibly get to a place where you get to a higher level one day where you actually forgive people for what is going to do to them, and that’s a beautiful place to be. But I don’t need you to go there today.
All I need you to do is focus on a fact that when you forgive you’re setting yourself free. When you forgive, you’re allowing yourself to be in a better place and you’re stopping the body for releasing all this horrible chemicals inside of you which are literally designed to make you depressed, make you slow, make you sleep much less restfully. All of these chemicals are designed to kill you off literally.
So let’s stop those chemicals from being released and replaced them with happy chemicals. Forgiveness is one of the most beautiful things that you can bring into your life and so bring forgiveness into your life. And remember one of the secrets I believe to being happy is forgiving the people who’ve hurt you.
And often forgive them as soon as they hurt you. You don’t even need to wait, you don’t even need to dwell on it, some people like “well you know, in a week, in a month, in a year or 10 years I’ll forgive them no forgive them”. No, forgive them now. Someone just hurt you; forgive them now.
Someone just cut you off on a freeway; forgive them now. There’s no reason. So many good reasons to forgive the people who’ve hurt you, and I know they’ve done some terrible things to you. I understand that, trust me, I’ve been on the receiving end of that and I want you to know that forgiving people is by far the best gif that you can give yourself.
Hey I love you all! I want you to know that there’s a reason the titanium’s motto is still, “Lead with your heart.” I believe that the secret to happiness inside of you is to consistently lead with your heart and when you forgiving people, there’s no better example of leading it to your heart than just that, forgiving people. I love you all.
Join me for the next episode where I’m going to talk to you about the self-destruct button on human beings that literally is ingrained in us and it’s built into us and it’s designed to kill you off when genetics and evolution feel like you’re no longer a fit part of society.
It’s an incredibly important lesson to learn and its forgiveness this thing is a part of it but there’s so much more to it. So join me as I bring this topic up to you and introduce them in a way that’s going to talk to you about health, fitness, business, relationships, brings all of that together. This concept of the self-destruct button. I love you all. Get out there today and more important than ever before on a day like this where I talked to you about forgiveness. Go out there and lead with your heart.