Episode 48 – Stop Listening to Your Parents
In today’s episode, I’m going to talk to you about why you need to stop living up to other people’s standards. Don’t live up to your parents’ standards, your teachers’ standards, your boss’s standards, your employee standards, or even to your customers’ standards.
This is Titanium Life Radio with your host, peak performance speaker and business coach, Arman Sadeghi.
Should you live up to other peoples’ expectations of you? Should you live up to the expectations that your parents have of you? The expectations that your mentors and your coaches and your teachers have of you? Should you live up to the expectations that your boss has of you? Answer: absolutely not. Because if we base our lives around living up to other peoples’ expectations, we will always consistently fall short of what we’re really capable of.
So what should you do? Expect more of yourself than anyone else in the world could ever expect of you. See, when you live up to your parents’ expectations of you, what you’re really doing is you’re settling for less. What your parents expect of you, what your coach expects of you, what everyone else out there, including your boss, expects of you, let me tell you, it’s far, far lower than what you’re truly capable of on the inside. So what you want to do is hold yourself to that incredibly high standard and expect more of yourself than anyone else could ever dream of expecting of you. And throughout this podcast, you’re going to hear me say that phrase over and over again: expect more of yourself than anyone else could ever expect of you, because truly it’s something we have to get in our minds because our whole lives we’ve been taught to live up to other peoples’ standards.
You know, we go to school, and they give us these grades. Well, you get an F, that’s bad. D, that’s bad. You know, C – okay, you’re average. B, you’re doing better, you’re doing well. You know, A, ooh, you’re really good. You know, an A+ — and it’s always these standards that other people set for us, and we’re supposed to live up to them – and many of us don’t even live up to those standards. But I guarantee you when you had your spelling test or whatever – and I was horrible at spelling – so let’s go back and review what we were doing in maybe, I don’t know, fifth or sixth grade.
You know, like for fifth or sixth grade, we had to memorize how to spell 20 words in a week, okay? Imagine that.
We had a spelling test every like Monday or Tuesday, or whenever it was, and we had to memorize 20 words. And the best students in our class, you know, there’s a couple of them who would get perfect scores, and it was like, “Oh my gosh! That person got a perfect score,” and then there were people like me who’d get like eight right. You know, we’d miss 12, and they’d be like, “Oh, that’s the stupid kid,” and then there were all the other people in the middle.
Now I look back, and I’m like, are you kidding me? We were trying to spell 20 friggin words! Twenty words – you can be anybody. I don’t care how young are. I don’t care where you’re at in life. As long as you are an average human being, right? There isn’t something – like for example, you’ve been through some massive head trauma or something like that – and I’ve had head trauma, and I can still learn to spell 20 words, by the way. But so learning to spell 20 words is not that complicated of a thing for a fifth or sixth grader to do. But because that’s the standard that’s set for us, now we reward kids who are getting like 18 of them right.
And in business and in life, we do the same thing. For those of you who are in business, you hold yourself up to the standards that your customers set for you. That’s the biggest mistake you can make. You have to hold yourself to a higher standard when it comes to customer service and value than any client could ever expect of you. That’s what I do for our marketing company, for example. These clients come to us, and they’re expecting something, and we go so far above and beyond to deliver things that are way higher and way above their expectations. And in fact, we expect more of ourselves than they could ever, ever, ever dream of asking us.
Now, sometimes clients ask you for crazy things that you just can’t give them. That’s different, right? And sometimes parents have expectations of you that you just don’t want to live up to. That’s different, right? It’s not that you don’t want to live up to those expectations; it’s that you don’t want to live over to those expectations, right? They want you to do something, and you just don’t think that’s in your best interest, right? Now, depending on how old you are and where you’re at in your life, be careful with that lesson because a lot of kids when they’re 17, 18, 19, 20, you know, they don’t want to listen to their parents. They’re like, “Well, they’re trying to hold me to this different standard.” Well, be careful there. At those ages, you probably should be listening to most of what your parents are telling you.
But for most of us adults, we’ve got to stop focusing on what everyone else wants from us. Stop focusing on what your customers expect of you. Stop focusing on what your boss expects of you, what your teachers expect of you, what your coaches expect of you, and hold yourself to a much, much higher standard. And if you’re holding yourself to that super-high standard of being the best that you can possibly be, you are going to be blowing away any expectation that other people have of you, and magically, your customers are happier with you than they have ever been.
Why? Because you’re not holding yourself to their standards; you’re holding yourself up to your standards, which are way higher, and you’re holding yourself up to your personal standards when it comes to your health, to your fitness. You know you don’t just have a decent body. You have a world-class body. That’s pretty amazing when you can develop a world-class body. Or, for example, you can take your education and take it to that next level and learn things that go way above and beyond what they’re teaching you in school or in business. You know, you treat your employees, and you treat your business in a way that’s better than anyone else could ever expect of you, and you hold yourself to that standard and that, my friend, is the secret to conquering things in life.
It’s holding yourself to that incredibly high expectation and expecting more of yourself than anyone else could ever expect of you. That’s the beauty of life and today’s episode is going to be pretty short because this message is a pretty simple message, and it’s one that I love delivering people, especially young people and even people who have been doing this a long time that have never embraced being the best that they can possibly be. But the concept here is expect more of yourself than anyone else could ever possibly ask of you. Do that in your everyday life, and I want you to just watch how areas of your life are going to completely transform and your relationships. What if you expected more of yourself than anyone could ever expect of you as a father, as a mother, a husband, a wife, a boyfriend, a girlfriend? What if you expected more of yourself than your boss could ever expect of you as an employee? What if as a boss, you expected more of yourself than any of your employees could ever expect of you? What if as a student you expected more?
As anything in life, you always consistently strive to be better and do things at a level that goes way beyond what anyone else could expect of you, and you expect more of yourself than anyone else could ever expect of you. You do that in life, my friends, and you’re going to see different areas of your body, your life, your relationships, your business, transforming in ways you’ve never seen before. And especially for my entrepreneurs out there, I want you to get out there today, and I want you to focus on being the best businessman or woman you can possibly be and focus on being the absolute best you could ever be.
And for all of you out there, expect more of yourself than anyone could ever expect of you. Now get out there and while you’re being your best in expecting more of yourself than anyone could ever expect of you, get out there and always lead with your heart.
Thanks for listening to Titanium Life Radio with Arman Sadeghi, here on the Apollo Podcast Network. For more information or to subscribe to this podcast, visit titaniumsuccess.com/podcast.
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