Episode 13 – Your Life Won’t get any Better
This is Titanium Life Radio, with your host, Peak Performance speaker and business coach, Arman Sadeghi.
Hey there, everyone, and welcome to this awesome episode of my Podcast. Today, we’re going to talk about something that’s really important in your life, in your business, everything that has to do with self-confidence in your personal life and in your business. This is something you’re really going to enjoy and it’s one of the most powerful messages I can give you. Before we get started, though, I do want to tell you I’ve had a couple people asking me about my bloopers at the end of these podcasts. Some of you care about me so much that you’ve actually contacted us and told us that we accidentally left in some bloopers, but nope! That’s on purpose; we leave the bloopers in there. If you haven’t been listening to the bloopers, you’ve got to listen! They’re so cool. I do those bloopers because I feel like as someone that is a role model for many people out there and as a leader, one of the key things that I have to do is make sure that I maintain that I’m human. That’s important because I want you to be confident in yourselves. As people listening to me speak, I want you to know I’m not perfect; I make mistakes all the time. If you’re trying to do something, whether it’s with your business or your life, whether it has to do with a podcast or whatever it is, I want you to know that it’s okay to be less than perfect. I am nowhere near perfect and I’m proud of that. The one way that I want to demonstrate that for you is at the end of each of these episodes, I’m going to play my bloopers for you! I want you to hear just how much of a dumb person I am every once in a while and how much I slip and how much I get things wrong. There’s nothing wrong with that!
The other thing that’s really cool is as I’m recording this, we are live on Periscope. For those of you who don’t know what Periscope is, it’s a really cool new social media tool. Basically think of it as YouTube, but it’s live so you can go on there and you can follow me. Your Twitter account is the way you get into it, but it’s a really, really cool thing. Right now, anyone who’s actually out there can watch me live. Go on Periscope, sign up for Periscope, follow me, Arman Sadeghi of course, and you’re going to be able to subscribe to me by following me. You’ll get notifications whenever I’m on. For everybody out there listening to the Podcasts, check out Periscope and find me on there. It’s a really cool thing and if you’ve never used it, give it a try. I just started messing around with it and I love it.
Today what I want to talk to you about is this concept that so many people — you hear them talking about this. One way that you hear is people say, “One day, I want to do what I love,” or they’ll say, “I want to marry the man of my dreams,” or they’ll say, “I want to have my dream job.” There’s people out there who, let’s say they want to have plastic surgery or they want to do something to change something about themselves and they’re like, “I can’t wait to do that! Once I get that nose job, it’s going to be so amazing! I’m going to be so handsome or so beautiful!” You see people who want to change different things about themselves, even being educated. People will say, “I can’t wait until I get my degree.
It’s going to be so amazing to finally be a college graduate or to have my graduate degree or to be a doctor!” What you hear more than anything else in the world is when people talk about doing what they love and pursuing their dreams, pursuing their passions. The reality of life is: life is just life. Here I am, this guy that some of you think of as someone who tells you to think positively (by the way, I don’t. I tell you to think realistically).
People think, “Arman’s going to motivate me to do better in my business, to do better in my life,” and here I am. Listen to this next comment I’m going to give you. Life is just life. It is not going to get any better. Yes, you heard me right. Life is not getting any better than it is right this moment. Lucky for you, there’s an “unless:” unless you decide that you’re going to make life better, not that you’re going to wait for outside forces to make your life better, but that you make it better now. Do you see? Business is just business. Your job is just your job. It is not going to get any better. Your job, your business, your life, your relationship, things like that are not going to improve. They’re not going to get any better unless you decide you’re going to make them better!
Some of you don’t love yourselves today, but you say, “One day, I’m going to love myself.” The reality is if you don’t love yourself today, you are not going to love yourself tomorrow, regardless of what your nose looks like, regardless of the breast augmentation you want to have, regardless of the fact that you’re going to change your job, regardless of the fact that you’re going to change your clothes, regardless of the fact that you’re going to get a degree. Fill in the blanks with whatever you want; some of you hate your job and you think, “I’m going to get another job!” How did that work for you last time? Because if you’re out there and you hate your job, chances are this isn’t the first job you’ve hated. Chances are that you’ve hated every job you had and at some point you’ve loved it and then you’ve come up with an excuse for why you hate it. “I don’t like my new manager,” or, “I don’t like what they’re having me do now,” or, “I don’t get paid enough.” Isn’t that what you’ve done with every job?
There are some of you out there who’ve always loved your jobs. When you were a kid, you worked at Starbucks and you loved it! Today, you’re the CEO of a multi-million dollar, multi-billion dollar corporation and you still love it. You know what’s funny? If I take you and I put you back at Starbucks working on that line, you’d love it all over again. Because you’ve learned to love what you do instead of constantly trying to seek out what you love. I’m not telling you to not seek out what you love; that is not what I’m telling you. I’m telling you there is an order of operations to everything in life. One of those things is understanding that you don’t have to change jobs; you don’t have to wait for your life to get better. You don’t have to wait for circumstances around you to get better, the world to get better. You can make things better if you just decide you want them to be better; that’s the difference. Once you learn to love what you do, go out there and find something you’re going to enjoy even more! Find something that’s even closer to your passion; find what you love! That is going to be beautiful!
But for you to sit around in the current job that you have that you don’t enjoy and talk about the fact that, “I don’t love my job and I can’t wait until I find a job I love,” of course you’re always going to be waiting around to find a job that you love! However, if you get out there and you decide today you’re going to love what you do, enjoy what you do today and get the most out of today, regardless of how painful your job is — I don’t care if you’re listening to me and you’re life’s a disaster right now or you’re in the middle of bankruptcy. Heck, you could be locked up in prison! I don’t care where you are or what your life is all about. You can choose to love your life today; you can choose to love your job today.
You can choose to love yourself today; you can choose to love that beautiful face of yours today. You can choose to love your body today and if you love your body today, when you lose the weight you’ll love it just as much and even more. But if you don’t love your body today, when you’re overweight, if you lose the weight you still won’t love your weight. Guess what? You still won’t love your body because you will never lose enough weight and you’ll say, “I need to lose a little more weight.” And then you’ll start complaining about other things, like, “I need to get more muscle.” And then you’ll lose the weight, you’ll have the muscle and then you’ll say, “I don’t like the tone of my skin,” and then you’ll start going to get tans. And then you’ll get the tan and you’ll say, “I don’t like these stretchmarks.” Eventually, it will be things that are out of your hands. That’s why you see people that chase these things for their entire lives. I’m here to tell you: let’s take a shortcut!
You’re going to live 100 years or more, I hope, all of you! I order you to live 100 years or more! That’s some NLP, there. You’re going to live a long, long life. I don’t know where you are in that 100+ year journey, but wherever you are today I want you to learn to love who you are right now and what you have today before going out there and pursuing everything that you want. Let’s love who you are; let’s love your job today. Let’s love your circumstances today so if you’re in the middle of a bankruptcy, let’s love the situation you’re in today because let me tell you: there are a lot worse places you could be. Wherever you are right now, I don’t care. If you don’t love your job, you have to learn to love that job. You have to start looking within yourself to find things that you love about your job. When you get good at finding things that you love about your job, that’s going to allow you to find things you love in the next job you’re in. Practice makes perfect, right? As you learn to develop ways of doing things where you start noticing the positives, you’re always going to notice the positives. It’s not just B.S. positive thinking! It’s noticing what’s really good about a situation.
For example: bankruptcy. You might be like, “I’m going through bankruptcy. What’s good about that?” Are you kidding me? Have you thought about the alternative? Do you know what the alternative to bankruptcy is? Anybody who doesn’t know, go read some history books. What happened to you 1,000 years ago or 500 years ago or even 200 years ago if you had to go through what we, today, call bankruptcy? It was called death. If you couldn’t pay people, they would kill you. There was no reason for you to live if you couldn’t pay people. If you owed people money and you didn’t want to pay them, they’d kill you! Today, they have this little form you fill out and it’s called bankruptcy! How can you be all down and depressed about that? I get that you want more from your life, but if you don’t see the positive during the time that you’re going through bankruptcy you’re not going to see the positive during the times that you’re thriving.
This applies to relationships. So many of you out there want a better relationship. You’re like, “I want a better man,” or, “I want a better woman.” I realize that, but if you don’t learn to look for the positives in the current relationship that you’re in, you are never going to find the positive in the other relationships that you get into. What you absolutely have to make certain of is that you’re focused constantly on finding the empowering meaning in things, in finding the things that are going to allow you to go to that next level. When you look for those things, that is when you decide to control what’s happening inside of your mind and you’re going to be absolutely unstoppable. If you want to be unstoppable, it starts with today; it starts with you. It starts with your current circumstances. I know you want better circumstances: a better job, a better career, a better spouse, whatever you want! It’s fine; I get all of that. But I want you to learn to be happy with what you have today.
The business you’re in today is the business you’re in today. That’s the one that you need to learn to enjoy; that’s the one you need to learn to love. If you learn to love it, in the process there’s nothing wrong with thinking about where you want to go to next. So many of you are going to spend your life in this trap of thinking that somehow magically the world is going to become a better place and you’re going to be happier! It’s not! Even if it does, there’s this law of equilibrium in the human brain, which means that no matter what changes around you, you’re always going to go back to being as happy as you are today unless you make a significant internal change. That significant internal change comes from a decision. Today, what’s the decision you need to make? What area of your life do you need to make a decision about?
Let me give you some examples that might help you out. For example, “I decide that as of today, I will see the positives in my husband or my wife. Today, I’m going to decide that I’m going to see the positives in my life circumstances, whatever they may be, wherever I may be in my journey — the beginning, the middle, the end, bankruptcy, in prison.” I don’t care where you are; today’s the day you decide you can be happy with it. I’m not telling you to be content; I’m not telling you to not want more. You can want more; you should always want more! There’s nothing wrong with wanting more, but you’ve got to learn to be happy with what you have right now and who you are right now. You need to make a decision about your job, that you’re going to love your job today and you’re going to work your butt off. There’s nothing wrong with looking for another job if you feel like you could do something that you’re even more passionate about. But don’t think that a more passionate job suddenly will make things easier because the reality is at the end of the day you’re going to have to learn to love that thing.
I love you guys and I’m really dedicated to helping you. Here’s one way that I’m dedicated and committed to doing everything I can to make this Podcast something you love. Thanks to these listeners, this Podcast has shot up the charts on iTunes and in other places where we’re just going up faster than you can imagine. We’ve got rave reviews from you and if you haven’t given us a review, please go online and give us a five-star review. We love those five-star reviews! More importantly, here’s what I want from you: I’m sure all of you follow me on Facebook. I want you to go to my Facebook; I have a post that I made today (if you’re listening to this in a couple days you can just go back to the post) where I’m asking you for the topics that you would like me to speak about on these Podcasts. I’m excited about talking about the topics that you want and the things that are going to help you in your life. Please go online, go to my Facebook, and make comments about what topics you’d like to hear me speak on. If you have questions, ask your questions. Those are the ones I love the most, not the people who tell me to talk about a topic just because they’re passionate about it. That’s okay too, but what I really want is — tell me what struggle you’re having! Let me help you solve it over the air on a Podcast and then on top of that, I’m going to start doing some interviews with some of the listeners where we’re actually going to interview you live, on air, on this Podcast, and that is going to give other people an idea of things.
I’m going to start interviewing people who disagree with me! I love people who disagree with me! Tell me you disagree. Go on Facebook, tell me you agree or you disagree. Either way, I’ll be happy to give you a moment to defend your side of it. I love all of you guys and I want you to go out there today and learn to love everything about your current life: your job, who you are, what you look like (especially what you look like!). You’ve got to love your body; you’ve got to love your face. If you want to lose some weight, fine! Go lose the weight, but first learn to love your body the way it is today. Go out there; kick butt in business and in every other area of your life. Today, I want you to also go out there and do something kind for someone else. As always, I want to end with reminding you to always lead with your heart.